You Own My Life
by BellaBlue08
Summary: Carly meets Drake and goes head over heels falling in love with him. But will he still be the same when he is a famous rock star? Thanks to my co-writer letsnotalk. Please R
1. This could be the start of

I was leaning against the balustrade on the roof of my New York City apartment with a glass of rum in my hand. I knew I shouldn't be drinking but I couldn't help myself. Nothing has been going well in the last couple of month actually since I graduated high school and moved to New York with Drake. I looked down and watched the lights glowing from the city below me. It was almost midnight but there were still hundreds of car rushing by. I felt a warm breeze blowing  
through my hair. I took a cigarette out of my black and brown leather LV purse that I bought immediately after Drake and I arrived in New York. Everybody here has got one and I should get into the New York state of mind, right. Or at least it was my excuse for spending so much money for a simple Handbag. My Mom back home in San Diego would have killed me if she knew. She would have said something like "Your name isn't louis Vuitton, so why walk around with  
someone else's name on?" She never understood what fashion and clothing meant to me. To me fashion is a way to express myself. I took the last sip of my drink and wondered where the rest had gone. I forgot about the glass and took the bottle, trying to figure out where in my life had I gone so wrong.

3 years ago...

I was on the beach with my best high school friends Jessica and Markey. Sitting in the sand and watching them both surf in the setting sun. I usually would be surfing with them but I fractured my wrist over a week ago trying to skate board, now I was stuck with a cast on my arm. I was laying in the sand playing with my Ipod when I saw Drake. He was walking by the cliffs with his Hands in his pockets. To me looked kinda lonely and insecure which was usually  
for him he always looked so confident, and the lonely part was definitely strange because he always had a new girl under his arm. People talk about him a lot, girls who he never called back and guys who had their girlfriends leave them for him. I really didn't care there was something about him that made me like him. I made the mistake of telling my girlfriends and they all flipped. "He's no good, he'll play you like everyone else." They all said but it was like forbidden fruit it only made me want him more.  
I looked up at him one more time the sun was glaring in my eyes but our eyes connected he started walking towards me. With every step he took towards me my heart skipped a beat. I held my breath until he was right in front of me.

"Hey. Carly, right?" He asked standing in front of me like a bronze beach god.

Oh my God he knows my name! I didn't know Drake Parker personally, we had two totally separate groups of friends. I wasn't unpopular I just hung out  
with a different group of kids. I nodded yes even though I almost forgot my own name he did that to me. "Hi" I said lowly shading my eyes from the sun.

Drake sat down next to me. "I'm Drake" He said in a flirty voice.

"I know..." I replied more talking to myself.

"Oh...you do?!" Drake said.

"yeah I know." I said laughing. Drake started laughing as well.

"So..how do you know my name?" I asked trying to hide how exited I was.

"Well,..." He started and laugh shyly. "We have a couple of classes together and you have the locker next to my brothers" He explained looking at my seriously.

We sat on the beach talking and it felt as if the time had just disapeared. Jessica and Markey came to say that are going to head for home and had tried to tell me a shouldn't be hear with Drake. He told me that he was hear to think about a new song and that often comes here to clear his mind. I loved to be here all alone to think and just...you know breath and be free. My parents didn't know that I went out in the middle of the night to go to the cliffs and the beach and I was really surprised that Drake did also. After we talked I started felling like myself again. I wasn't the "me" that I was in school or with my friends it was a part of me that had been lock up inside for years...

Talking turned into touching and touching turned into kiss and an innocent kiss turned into making out. It usually took long for me to trust a guy and kiss him but this time was different but and I couldn't really tell why.  
Drake drove me home that night. My cell had rang a couple times but I hadn't answer it. I knew it was my mom wondering where I was. When I finally got home  
my mom was furious she caught a glimps of me getting out of Drakes car.  
"Well I guess you won't be seeing him again!" She stated not even knowing who he was yet. But it didn't matter to her from that point on Drake was public enemy number 1 in her mind. That was the day that I stopped playing the good girl my mom loved and started being the bad girl Drake couldn't get enough of.


	2. I hear what u r saying I just dont care

Drake was a fun guy and I loved hanging out with him. We just had such a great time when we were together. Everyone I knew thought that Drake was a"party-guy" and way too much into girls, and he was. But to me he was so gentle and sweet.  
When I arrived at school the next day (Late as usual) Drake was already waiting for me at my locker.

"Hey what's up?" I asked excitedly.

Drake stood in front of me; he looked so cute standing there with his dark hair in his eyes and his tattered band shirt. "Hey." He answered slowly looking down at his shoes.  
My heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to pop out of my chest. As he stepped closer to me he didn't take his eyes off of me until finally our lips touched. This wasn't just a normal kiss this was a kiss that made my knees weak and set my brain spinning, I closed my eyes until the school bell brought me back to reality. I looked around and noticed that the hallways were almost empty it was later then I thought, but I didn't care when I kissed Drake it was like the world disappeared. I took my books out of my locker and took Drakes hand as he walked me to class.

I walked into the lunch room and sighed to myself, there were so many people and the food was always so gross. I put my stuff on the closest table and went into the line anyway. I felt someone tap me on my shoulder.

"What are you doing?" Drake asked.

"I'm just going to get some pretzels or something." Drake took me by the hand and led me out the line and through the lunch room exit.

"Where are we going?" I giggled with excitement.

"Come on let's get some real lunch." We ran out the back doors of the school and jumped into his car. He was so careful about which hand to grab knowing that one was in a cast.

"So I guess you like the color purple?" He said pointing at the neon purple cast.

"It's kind of an addiction for me."

"So what kind of music do you like?" Drake asked trying to get to know me as his tires screech out of the parking lot.

"Oh I like a lot of bands,The Who, Simple Plane, The Beatles, The Clash what about you?" I answered trying to put on my seat belt.

This was the first time Drake and I have skipped school together and I hope it won't be the last.  
"You know I actually like the same music as you." He said putting his hand around my shoulder.

We had lunch and then spent the rest of the day together at the beach just talking about everything from music to movies. We also did a lot of making out. After everything I started to realize how much we really had in common.

A month had past and Drake and I were doing great. I loved our dates they were usually at the Premiere because we could get in for free but I don't think we had watched a full movie yet. One time we even skipped school and drove up to LA just to walk Hollywood boulevard and see the walk of fame. My mom was getting on me about spending so much time with Drake and slacking on my school work, but every time I would start to study he would climb through my window and come up with some crazy adventure to go on together. But I loved when we would just pick up and go out to LA, I felt like everyone was accepted there no matter freakish or crazy you were, but most of it felt fake and a little deceitful. The only thing that felt truly real to me was the hill and for some reason they felt a little sad and always way too far away. If anything was wrong I could just look at those hills and it had a healing effect on me.

Today when Drake took me shopping in Hollywood I got so excited all the different looks, the colors, the music, the people. It gave me an almost false high. I loved it. It made me feel like a kid in a candy store. I could tell Drake was bored he just sat in the corner playing with his nails, he would pick his head up and smile every time I came out with a new outfit. Even though he was completely bored out of his mind he never complained. My mom would kill me if she knew I was putting this all on her emergency credit card.  
But this was an emergency how could I give up shopping in Hollywood. My mom had called a few times but I let it go to voice mail she normally wouldn't call during school hours so I guess the school called and informed her about me skipping once again. I texted her after a while so she didn't get to worried about me and told her I was hanging out with my friend Jessica.

I decided I was already in big trouble so why not go the whole 9 yards. Drake and I decided to go to a little night club that was way too easy to sneak into. It was 2 am by the time we decided to leave for San Diageo. Drake invited me to spend the night at his house, I agreed I was still a little scared of what my mom was gonna say. It was now almost 3 am on Saturday morning and I was driving Drakes car to let him catch up on some sleep. He looked so adorable sleeping on the passenger seat. I made myself stop staring at him and concentrated on the old Bob Dylan song playing softly on the radio.

We arrived at Drakes house and I nudged him awake.

"Well my parents are probably sleeping so we can just use the front door." Drake said examining each window for a glimpse of life, but nothing stirred.

I was so relieved because I wasn't looking forward to climbing up to garage to his bedroom. We snuck up the stairs leading to his room.

"Don't step on those stairs." He whispered pointing to the next two steps. He took my hands and urged me on.

"I'm guessing this isn't your first time doing this." I whispered giving him a sly smile.

We walked into his room he shut the door softly turning on the light. I laid my purse down on the couch in middle of that was stationed in middle of the room.

"Where's Josh?" I asked looking around his room.

"Oh he went to some future teacher camp for the weekend." Drake replied rolling his eyes and plopping on his bed.

Josh and I had a few classes together; he was a nice guy a little goofy but a nice guy none the less. I took one of Drakes long tee shirt and used it as a night gown. Drake stripped down to his boxers. I looked over at him and I couldn't help myself I just started kissing him.

"What was that for?" He asked still holding me close.

"I dunno I just wanted to."

"Aha." He said lightly pulling me in again for another kiss I couldn't help myself the room started spinning as his soft lips made their way down to my neck.


	3. Here I am so what are ur other 2 wishes?

Time had pasted and my mom was actually starting to accept Drake. She really just wanted to see me happy so she said as long as my grades stayed up I could see Drake. It was another Friday night another show in a dingy bar. I sat in the storage closet they called a dressing room with Drake and one of his band members Toney.

Instead of getting ready for the show they were playing would you rather I never took any of the questions seriously I just laughed at the 2 of them squirm to answer the ridicules questions the other would ask.  
I drifted out of the conversation and looked at the girl using the mirror on the other side of the closet. She was one of those blonde Hollywood girls, in another state she would have been the popular girl but here she was a dime a dozen. I watched her apply more and more make up as if to cover her shallow personality with mascara. She sees me staring she actually flashes me a sly smile, she looks in the mirror one last time I watch her stand up she flattens out her ultra short skirt and pulling her leather high heel boots into position right under her knee. She liked the attention it didn't matter if it was good or bad. She walked out of the door slowly winking at Drake and Tony as she walked out the door. Tony almost fell over his own two feet running after her.

"I don't like her."I stated when it was just me and Drake in the storage closet.

Drake didn't answer he just pulled me on to his knee, he moved his fingers slowly across my face moving any loose stands that had fallen into my face.  
Now I couldn't hide my eyes from him anymore, his eyes seem to speak to me. I didn't know what they were trying to say yet but it just made me lose all control of my morality. I couldn't help myself I ran my fingers through his shaggy hair placing my lips fervently on his. He started to move his hands around my waist when I heard a knock at the door and then without answering, the door swung open exposing us at our moment of weakness.

"Five more minutes Drake." Tina, the assistant manager of the bar came in she looked around the small room for a minute. I knew she was looking for Josh but he decided to stay home tonight. She totally had a crush on him you could tell because every time Josh would come with us she would find little reasons to stick around or drag him off to help her. Plus the red blush that covers her cheeks when he says hello is completely a flair in the air. Drake grabbed his guitar from the side of the room and kissed my forehead softly leaving me and Tina in the small room alone.

I smiled at Tina walked out to the bar I sat close enough that I could see without having to be the crazy girlfriend in the front row screaming "˜I love you".

Drake sang a few songs and I hung on to every word, my world melted away when he played I let everything around me fizzle out.

I felt something vibrating but I thought it was because I was sitting close to the speakers but when it persisted I checked my back pocket and of course I had about 10 missed calls. Just as I was about to put it back the screen lit up. I answered it putting one hand over my unused ear.

Phone Conversation

Jeremy - Carly you have to come home right now!

Me - Wait hold on Jeremy slow down! what's wrong?

Jeremy - Dad came home you just need to come home now!

Dad came home? I couldn't wrap my mind around the last statement. My dad left when I was seven it wasn't like he came home from work early or anything.

I looked around the bar trying to find Tina I told her to tell Drake I had to go home it was a family emergency I would call him when I could. I had it set in my mind that I had to get home as soon as possible. There was no waiting around for the end of the set. _Damn Drake drove!_ I only live like 10 blocks I could run home in like 15 minutes.

I walked out the front door letting the warm air fill my lungs and I started running as fast as I could everything around me was a blur, people, stores. I finally reached my house I don't know how long it took because my brain was racing fasted then my feet. I barged through the front door. I waking into the living room and  
Jeremy was sitting on the couch next to Dad unwrapping presents that I guess my dad had brought him. My mom was in the kitchen making tea acting like all  
of this was normal; like he actually came on the weekends he was supposed to pick me and my brother up. I wonder if he thought these presents would make up  
for all the times he never called on birthdays and Christmas. I cringed slightly as my dad got off the couch and walked over to me. I looked at him in complete terror and frustration I couldn't believe he came back after what he put us all through.

"Oh my little princess! you gotten so big you're a young lady now."

He said reaching his arms out to hug me; I took a few steps back shaking my head in disbelief.

"No" I mumbled under my breath almost inaudible.

"Well why don't you come sit down next to me? I got some presents for you too." He took a seat back next to my brother on the couch.

I didn'twant to sit next to him so I took a seat on the recliner across the room. I watched Jeremy struggle with the wrapping paper. I was an electric guitar and amp. Jeremy almost jumped out of his skin he has been bugging for a guitar for months. He looked at me with confused eyes, he didn't know what to do should he hate him like I did or thank him for the present. I flashed Jeremy a small smile.

"That's really cool buddy." I said animatedly. He smiled back and raced off the couch to plug in the amp.

"Please come over here to open this I really looked for a long time to pick this out for you."

"Wow that was really long!" I said sarcastically he wasn't taken back by he was still persistence patting the spot next to him. What did he think that we thought he was on a long business trip? We knew he left we knew he abandoned us. He held out the box wrapped in glittery pick paper.

"Please Carly." I didn't move I didn't even make eye contact.

"Fine I'll open it up for you."I turned my head focusing my eyes on anything else except him peeling back the pink paper ever so carefully.

"Carly it's a laptop; you needed one of those for school!" Jeremy squealed with excitement.

"Mom told me you like fashion I had them put a program on it so you can design clothes. It's one of the best computers out there right now."

I knew he didn't just get lucky with the presents, he was talking to my mom again I wonder so how long. I wonder how long she had been hiding this for. I stared at my mom with such hate in my eyes it made he look away. She cleared her throat and tried to flash me a smile I just shook my head in disgust.

"Don't you like it Carly? I mean if you don't like it I can get you something else."

"Well Frank if you're asking if this makes up for the ten years you were gone, No it doesn't! Its not gonna make me forget you always coming home drunk and then left without a warning with this bleachblonde-more-boobs-than-brains chick and now you come back and act like nothing ever happened? 10 years Frank! 10 years. I could have really used a dad in those ten years, but where were you? Somewhere across the country doing whatever you wanted with no strings attacked with Debbie or what her name was.  
You never called! Not one card on my birthday or Christmas. If you really wanna do something for me then just leave. Just leave me alone a let me live my life like I have for the past ten years without you." I said with such spite it left a bad taste in my mouth. I saw my moms and Franks face's drop when I mentioned Debbie, I guess they thought I was dumb enough not to know the real reason he had left.

"I'm sorry Carly I didn't have your number or your address how was I supposed to get in touch with you."

"Wow ten years and that's your excuse you would think that since you had all that time you would have a better excuse then what most college boys tell there one night stands. But it is you Frank so I guess I should expect much." I said smiling at my own wit then turning and walking up the stairs that led to my room.

I heard the mom and Franks hush talking through my closed door. He ruined a perfectly good night tonight. Why did he have to come back tonight, why did he have to come back at all?

I laid in bed with the pillow over my head trying to block out the world around me. My mom came up once or twice banging on the door in protest of my attitude, but I could care less at this point. About an hour later he protest turned into pleading she wanted me to go out to dinner with all of them I didn't say a word she finally caught on and just left.

I heard the door slam I knew I was alone at last. I held the pillow over my head and scream as loud as I could. I needed to let out some of the frustration it was starting to boil over.

I ran down the stairs to call my older sister who was away at college I paced back and forth in the kitchen listening to the ringing and trying to open a pop tart package at the same time. Then I heard the front door creak open.

"" I let out angrily. Why were they home so soon? I turned around in protest but only to find Drake standing in the foyer. I put the pone down on the counter.

I ran over to him with open arms letting myself fall into his arms. I needed him now more then I had ever needed him.  
"God I am so glad you're here you left without saying anything to me and Tina just said it was a family emergency, you forgot your purse in the dressing room so

I couldn't call your cell phone."

"Drake please just hold me for a minute." He could hear the sadness in my voice and see the dispersion in my eyes.

"Carly whatever it is, its gonna be okay baby." He said wrapping his arms around me as tightly as he could.

"No its not, my dad came back after ten freakin years and now he expects to be one big happy family. We were finally getting along without him here."

"Where are they now?" Drake asked leading me over to the couch.

"They all went out for dinner; I refused to go with them." I said a little depressed I felt like my mom was picking him over me.

"You know he used to drink he would come home in the middle of the night and start a fight with my mom. One time he hit so hard she was knocked unconscious. The next day he would come crawling back begging forgiveness he always promised he would stop and change but he never did. Then he started cheating on my mom and would just never come home at all. When he did decide to come home it was worse than ever. Once I woke up in the middle of the night because I heard them screaming at each other down the stair. He yelled at her cause she didn't do his laundry right or something that stupid like that. I just hid on the steps not being  
able to move because I was so scared. I saw him make a fist and then hit her so hard it was like I felt it she fell to the ground and he just kicked her and walked out the front door. I didn't help her; I didn't even scream I just sat on the steps crying, watching her squirm in pain."

I don't know if much of the story was recognizable beacue of how hard I was sobbing but the look of pure terror on Drakes face meant that I got my point across.

Drake didn't say anything he probably didn't know what to say. He just held me tighter rubbing my back. I push my body closer to him feeling protected in his arms I calmed down a little and wiped the tears from my eyes.

"And know he shows up here and tries to buy our love with expansive presents." I said pointing to the laptop box still sitting on the coffee table unopened.

"And the worse part about it is my mom acts like none of what he did ever happened or ever mattered. He might have been hitting her but we were the ones who always got hurt."

"It's going to be okay Carly. I'm gonna be here with you. I promise I won't let him hurt you again." He kissed me softly on the forehead patting my hair. I laid on his chest listening his heart beat until I feel asleep in his arms.


	4. She loves you, yeah yeah yeah

I awoke in the warm embrace of Drakes arms, my happiness didn't last long I heard a car pull into the garage. I didn't know whether to happy they came home or mad that there ruining another perfect moment with Drake.

Drake stirred and smiled at me with sleepy eyes. "What's wrong?"

"There here." I kidded around trying to hide my sadness.

The door opened my mom and Jeremy walked in but then was followed by Frank. They were talking and laughing, it made my blood boil to see them happy without me.

"We brought you back dessert!" Jeremy said with delight. He handed me the transparent plastic container with a piece of chocolate cake smothered in whip cream. I mouth watered, my eyes danced but I wouldn't let on I took the contained and plopped in down on the coffee table aimlessly. I watched the contained turn white as if I had put a grenade in with it.

"Thanks, Mom you know Drake, Drake this is my mom, my brother Jeremy, and my um Frank." I tried to sound as sincere as possible.

I just wish I didn't have to share this awkwardness and Frank would just leave for ever and leave us be.

"Thanks for coming dad." Jeremy said hugging him good night after my mom told him it was time to get ready for bed.

"I can't wait to see you Sunday." He went upstairs and I had to pick my chin off the floor.

What did he mean Sunday? Is he coming back? It was getting harder and harder to breathe to think. Drake put his arm around my shoulders and I slowly took a deep breath.

"Sunday?" I didn't ask I demanded!

"Yeah, I toughed it would be fun if we all go to a baseball game like we use to." He explained, he seemed proud of himself, like he was making up for the 10 years he left us without a good bye or the 7 years before they were the worst years of my life, not when he was gone when he was actually here.

"Drake you wanna come?"

"I'm pretty sure Drake's busy." I quickly replied before Drake could.

It was not that I didn't want him there it was just that I wasn't planning on going myself. I pushed Drake out the door.

"Good night everybody" He said quickly before I shut the door behind us.

"Why don't you just tell'em you don't wanna go?" He asked sheepishly.

"I will." I said letting out a light sigh. Drake put his arms around my waist interlocking his fingers behind my back. Drake gave me one more kiss goodnight before walking down the drive way. I wanted him to stay here with me because when he was around I felt so safe like nothing could hurt me.  
I slowly walked back in. Mom and Frank where sitting on the couch.

"I'm gonna go to bed" I was actually tired and didn't want to have to deal with them anymore at least not alone.

What the hell made him think was going to a baseball game with them when I'm not even having dinner with them.

"Carly wait!" Frank said and walk towards me. "I really want you to come with us on Sunday."

"I'll think about it." I said turning my back towards them and stomping up the stairs like an angry 5 year old.

"Good night, Carly" I turned around to look at him one last time he had a sad look in his eyes. I regretted giving him the satisfaction of my attention.

Staring out the window I could see Frank pulling out the driveway. I plopped on bed and tried to push all thought out my mind.

After I while my Mom came in and sat on my bed.

"Why didn't you tell me he was coming today?" I spat angrily at her. I felt like she had betrayed me, betrayed our little family.

"Sweetie, please don't be mad I didn't know he was coming today. He asked if he could see you guys. He didn't tell me when and I didn't even want to tell you guys and have to deal with it when he disappointed you guy and not shown up. I mean he is your father and he had every legal right to see you.  
Maybe you hate him right now but if you canthis for yourself do it for your brother, you have to see how happy he is."

"What do you want me to do act like he was on a friggin business trip?"

"I don't want you to forget. I just want you to deal. Don't act mean on storm up the stars. Just act happy when we go to the game Sunday." She said with her warning eyes.

"Mom, I'm not going this Sunday!" I said shocked that she actually thought I would.

"Carly you are going! It's just one day. We are all going to give him another chance"

I softly nodded I was too tired to argue with her especially since it was an uphill battle I was the daughter she was the mom. One part of me wanted Frank to fall off the face of the earth once again and another thought that Jeremy needed a father and maybe it wasn't too late for me maybe he could still be in my life. I fell asleep remembering some of the good times when he had warmth in his eyes.

I woke up to complete silence I wandered through the house in my pajams with absolutely no plans in mind except for grabbing a bowl of cereal and plopping down on the coach to watch the usual rubbish on the T.V on a Sunday morning . My mom was probably shopping and I knew Jeremy was out with friends.  
I was enjoying my moment of peace and tranquility until my cell rang. It was a text message from Drake saying I should get ready and don't forget to put on a bikini he would be picking me up in 15 minutes. I did as I was told and walked up in my room; I put on my bikini and then cover it with a pink tank and a jean skirt. I looked cute and I knew it. I slipped into a pair of purple flip flops and ran down the stairs. I heard the honk of Drake car horn; I grabbed my bag and raced out the door.

"Hey" I said and kissed Drake zealously. "Where're we going?"

"It's a surprise" He said and pulled me close for another kiss. "But I bet you like it"

He could have taken me anywhere looking into his eyes I couldn't refuse plus I knew if I was with him I would be fine, but since I was wearing a bikini I was completely thrown. The ride wasn't too long, but when we got there I was a little disappointed. I had never been to this place before it wasn't anything special it just an old parking lot.

"What are we doing here?" I asked looking around confused.

"We're not there yet, just be patient." Drake said and guided me to a small path that leaded down a hill. It was kinda difficult to walk it down because it was so steep and stony and I was a bit clumsy. We finally made it to the bottom and of course the last little just I stumbled over a rock sticking out of the mud but luckily my knight in shining armor, Drake caught me before I fall.

"Wow it's beautiful" I said freeing my hand from Drakes grasp so I could explore the small uncultivated bay. It looked like it was painted by Monet.  
The little bay was surrounded by cliffs making it totally secluded. I flashed Drake a smiled as he was unpacking his car bringing out a cooler and some towels. I let out a deep sigh or happiness. Drake raced down to the surf picking me up and spinning me. He laid out the towels and we just laid there enjoying each other company we didn't have to say anything us being close was all that we needed. I slowly started kissing him more seductively down his chest, tasting the salt air that had settled on his bare chest. I couldn't help myself he didn't stop my finger from exploring uncharted territory and when he moaned with excitement. It made me feel giddy like I was on the right path to what my heart really wanted. I could feel the passion pulsating off of drake and in one swift move we were one.


	5. Live every day like it was your last

I never went home that night I just didn't want that moment to end. I knew I would be in big trouble for missing the baseball game with Frank but I choose the person who I knew would always be there for me, Drake. So the next morning I tried to sneak into the house hoping no one was awake yet but I was wrong my mom was sitting on the couch arms folded across her chest as if she was thinking of punishment all night.

"You will not be allowed to see Drake for a very long time until I change my mind about you or him and I would bank on that being anytime this year."

I put my head down in shame but I held a smirk in my heart knowing nothing was going to stop me and Drake from seeing each other. Me climbing out of my window and down the drain pipe while he was waiting in his car down the block.  
Frank stayed around he called everyday but I would never pick up my mom and brother begged and pleaded I would just shrug my shoulder and walk away. I didn't care enough to have a conversation with him, you would think he got the hint but he didn't he would try everyday, but he was 10 years to late.

I told my mom I was going to teh library to do a project but detoured to Drakes house. I sat on the couch in middle of his room, Drake wasn't home yet he was still in band practice. Josh was sitting at the desk going through college brochures. We sat in silence for a long time I picked at my skirt and listened to his highlighted squeak across the papers.

"So how is all that going?" I asked in a meek voice.

My question was answered with the sound of Josh crumbling up one of the papers and missing the trash can.

"I know how stressful it can be to read all of them and choose one, my Mom came up to me with a thousand of them. She's always saying a good College is the foundation of a successful career and I should show a little more initiative." I said shaking my head like she does when she's lecturing me.

"What about you aren't you planning to continue School?" He suddenly asked as if he just realized that I was around.

"I'll probably stay close go to the same school as my sister and take some economy classes." I said with a shrug of my shoulders. I wasn't really sure what I wanted to do yet so I was just going to fallow in my sisters foot steps until I found my nitch.

"I'll probably go to an east coast school. My grades are good enough and I'm getting sick of these Cali girls anyway." He said with a smirk.

I laughed too, I understood what he was talking about wanting a change of scenery just to leave this place and try something totally different. Drake and Josh were so different Drake never cared about school he knew right away he didn't want to go to college he just wanted to concentrate on music.

"Drake told me your family moved here from New York." He looked at me as if I was going to tell him some wonderful story. But I had nothing.

"Yeah I was real young when I moved here so I don't really remember much." I said with a shrug of my shoulders.

I walked out of the room and down to the kitchen to get something to drink. I needed something to get my mind off of school ended it was a bit sad. Its not like I would miss actually going to school but it would be a sign that I was actually growing up and I would have to move on with my life, and I had no clue which direction I was going.

"Hey Baby you already here?" Drake said wrapping his arms around my waist and gently kissing my neck.

"Yup" I said as he turned me around to make me face him. "How was your band practice"

"It was good." He replied and leaded me into the living room. "Hey bro what are you doing"

"Just informing myself about some colleges" Josh answered not looking up from his Laptop. "And you should be to!" He added exaggerated gesturing with his hands.

"Yeah, yeah" Drake replied annoyed plopping down on the couch.

"Oh my shift starts in like 15 minutes!" Josh said after he looked at his watch. "See ya guys later"

Josh left so Drake and I were finally alone. We sat on the couch watching TV and finally fighting over the remote. I leaned over Drake to get it and turn off the TV. I had a lot more on my mind then reruns especially what happened last times we were alone together. We really didn't talk about it we just took it as it was, I didn't want to push him.  
I just wanted to let them go. I turned my attention back to Drake who whined a little bit over the TV going black and I turned to him and kissed him. He pulled me on to his lap and put my arms on his shoulders. Every one of his touches sent shiver through my body...

It was Monday morning I stood in the Kitchen making some pancakes for Jeremy and me, dancing and singing along to the radio.

"You don't have to be rich, to be my girl; you don't have to be cool, to rule my world!" I screeched from the top of my lungs.

Drake ran in through the front door with a huge grin on his face. He grabbed me from behind and swung me around in the air.

"Baby I have great news" He said excitedly. "You know that guy that Josh and I meet in L.A. last year the one that brought me to TRL"

I slowly shock my head yes not really getting what he was trying to say,though.

"Well, he called and he was at the gig last night and he said Josh and I should come down to New York and he might give me a record deal" he stood there acting cool and collected when all I wanted to do was take his hand and jump up and down.

"Oh my Gosh Drake, this is awesome this is incredible, amazing..." I tried to find the right words. I put my arms around his neck and just kissed him.

"So when do you have to leave?"

"Today but Baby I want you to come with me. I want you to be by my side." Drake said looking me straight in the eyes.

I opened my mouth to reply but no words came out. This wasn't just a two hours drive; it meant a fly across the country. And I was in enough trouble with my mom already.

"Come on Carly and know you want to go" He said with a playing smile.

"I...I...I...I..." I couldn't compose a proper sentence. Drake pushed his lips onto mine to stop my stuttering.

"School is on break anyways and you could go and see some collages with Josh your mom will like that!" He held a ticket under my face "Hey, this says your name!" He said as if just noticing.

"How did you pay for that?" Was all that I could come up with.

"You know buy two get one free" He said smiling at me. I was hundred percent sure there was no such thing but there was something in his eyes that just made me forget about it and fallow his every word, hang on every syllable.

"Okay." Drake picked me up and twirled me around.

I quickly ran up the stairs to tell my mom. I was 18 now I was grown up, what ever she said I had already made up my mind. She was hesitant at first but then started to loosen up when I told her we were also going to look at colleges. Plus it wasn't going to be just me and Drake on some honeymoon Josh was coming too. She reluctantly agreed, I sprinted to my room and pack throwing this feverishly through the air just hoping I had packed enough. I walked back down the stairs with packed bags as Drake, Josh and Jeremy were sitting down at the kitchen table eating pancakes.

"Did you pack enough women?" Josh asked looking at the trail of bags I had brought down with me.

"Who's ready to go to New York?" I yelled throwing my hands in the air.


	6. I'm talking about LOVE

"Hey, Baby wake up..." Drake said rubbing my back to wake me up. I slowly opened my eyes and looked around our beautiful New Yorker hotel room. "Hey, I got you breakfast."

I slowly sat up in bed and Drake placed the breakfast tray in front of me and my senses were flooded by the coffee invigorating me. "Oh thank you baby!" I said taking a slip of the coffee. "What time is it?"

"About 8" Drake replied and kissed me softly on my sleepy face. I looked at him he looked so handsome he was in all his glory here.

"How do I look?" He asked with a bit of nervousness in his eyes. This was something new something that never happened with Drake he was always so confident and sure of himself it was totally adorable.

"You look…" I paused trying to think of just the right word to describe how incredible he looked. "Great!"

He walked over kissing me one last time at this point Josh was waiting in the door way. I couldn't let him go just yet I took him by the shirt and pulled him in for one more kiss. "They're gonna love you!" I yelled before he shut the door and I was alone.

After I finished eating and watching some TV I slowly got up and showered. Since Drake and Josh would be busy the whole day I thought I would go and see some of New York. I haven't been here in almost 10 years; I stopped at the front desk to get a map of the city. I walked out letting the warm wind flow through my hair; I took a deep breath taking it all in. I walked along the tall building map in hand just amazed in how different I felt here I felt as if I belonged. After a few hours of walking in and out of stores aimlessly I returned back to the hotel with way to many bags.

"Baby, I'm home!" Drake yelled from the doorway.

"Yeah, I'm just taking a shower I'll be right out!" I jumped out and wrapped a towel around my body.

"So how did it go? Tell me everything!" I said sitting on his lap with my arms around his neck like a child waiting on a story.

"It went really good actually! Tomorrow I do some studio work and if that goes well then I will be signing a contract in 2 days." He said as he let a smile creep across his face.

I loved to see him smile and so happy. "Of course there going to love you!"

"Carly?" Drake said very seriously, which is also something very new to me."You know if I get the record deal I would have to move to New York..."

"I kind of figured that..." I said feeling the knot tighten in my stomach

"And I don't want to move here without you, so would move here with me? I mean if it came down to that?" He said looking deep into my eyes.

I didn't have to think very long, I spent all my time with Drake and my family life was awreck! "Oh my gosh… Yes!" I finally said and wrapped my arms around him kissing him feverishly.

"I really need you here with me" He said holding me a little tighter.

The next day Josh and I went to see the Collage while Drake spent the day rehearsing with his band. The college was great it was open and felt free not like some of the ones I went with my mom that seemed like a nunnery. Josh liked it to get said it had that New York sorta style. I didn't know what that meant but I could see what he meant. They weren't like the people from California bubbly and fake.

When we finally returned home I sat on bed switching through the TV and waiting for Drake to come back. I heard something at the door and I jumped out of bed. I stood in front of Drake staring at him and waiting for him to tell me the good news.

"So?" I said impatiently with a smile.

He looked sad and my heart skipped a beat. He slowly opened his mouth and put his chin to his chest as if he was ashamed. "We got the deal!" I ran to him and jumped in his arms.

"You're a jerk!"

"Yeah, but I'm a jerk with a record deal!" He said swinging me around.

I kissed him and kissed him not letting him get another word out there was just so much passion between the two of us. He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around him we couldn't even wait to make it to the bed and settled for the couch!

"I love you so much Drake…" I whispered to his naked body sprawled out on the bed knocked out from his exhilarating day. I couldn't sleep my life had just changed in front of my eyes. I swept his loose hair out of his eyes and kissed him gently on his forehead laying my head on his chest.


	7. Are you ready?

Finally school was over and i was leaving for New York first thing in the morning. I sat on the floor with my friend Jessica the walls were bare the shelves were vacant, there were pieces of tape still stuck to the wall where my posters were hung, but now all that was left of my childhood room were a few moving boxes that were being sent out in the morning.

I turned to Jessica how was just twirling her hair bobbing her head to the music that played lowly on my laptop. "This is going to be so weird, I've always wanted to grow up and move away, but now that I'm actually doing it, it scares the hell out of me. I'm going to have bills and I'll have to get a job. Ughh!" I moaned sprawling my body out on the warm carpet.

"Yeah I know what you mean, even I have to get a job! But this is what we wanted right? More independence, but you had to go across the country to find it." She gave me a funny face proving once again she could never be to serious.

"I know new school, new city, its gonna be a lot different then just going to San Diego Community college." I wanted to sound excited and happy but it came out as sadness and remorse.

It wasn't going to be so bad, Josh and I would go to the same Collage so I wasn't completely alone. Drake and I had flown out to NY a couple time to see some apartments and finally found a really great one in the middle of Manhattan. It was only five blocks from Collage and Josh wasn't living far as well.

My mom still didn't like the idea of me and Drake living together she thought I wouldn't keep up with my school work and I would get caught up in the rock star life that I was desperate to get a taste of. All I could do was laugh And try to assure her that i wanted to make this work, my life, my relationship with him with her but most of all i just wanted to live my life my way.

"How about we go and party a little? We can stay in this empty room all night just feel feeling sad about never seeing each other again." She said with a smile on her face and a hint of sadness.

I smiled at Jess giving her a little punch on her shoulder. I couldn't refuse since Jess was someone who i was truly going to miss. I jumped up and grabbed my purse I held out my hands pulling her up from the floor.

It was so early but I was at the airport having breakfast with My Mom,Jeremy, Jessica and Marky. I was so tired cause Jess and I stayed out till almost 3 in the morning so I was doing my best not to fall face first in my eggs. My eye lids felt as if they weighed 50 pounds. My brain was going in and out of the conversation that was being held in front of me about me but i had no clue what anyone was really saying.

I saw Drake standing at the other end of the air port with his family he stood out in the crowd he was like my knight in shinning armor coming to take me away from all of this. I grabbed my bags and we all walked over to security where i had to say goodbye. I hugged my mom tightly i felt like a child going off to summer camp.

"Sweetie you know if you ever need anything just call not matter what time it is!" She said with tears in her eyes.

I softly nodded into her shoulder giving her once last hug. "Mom don't cry your going to make me cry!" I saw Marky talking to Drake seriously but didn't know what about.

"And you are gonna be a good guy, right lil bro?" I said hugging him. I pulled back and messed up his hair trying not to cry.

Drake Josh and I took seat in the plane waiting for it to start I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer i rested my head on Drakes shoulder there was a little spot right between his neck and his shoulder that felt as if it was taylor made for me.

--

"Baby I'm home" Drake yelled and walked into our apartment.

I was sitting on the floor and trying to bring a system into the few remaining boxes that I've been pushing around since we arrived.

"Hi baby how was your day?" I asked as drake kissed the top of my head and sat down next to me.

"Really good actually" He said and pulled me close. "We're almost done with the studio work. The first single should be out in like two weeks and the album right after it."

"Isn't that pretty fast?" I asked thinking how things in New York did move a lot faster then anywhere else.It had only been a few weeks since we arrived.

"Yeah kinda but fast is good" He said laughing.

"Yeah fast is good" I repiede and wrapped my arms around his neck sitting on his lap.

"So what do you have been doing?" He asked looking around the apartment it.

"Umm after work I... well let me show you." I got up and pulled him to the bedroom to show him what I meant. It was finally free from all boxes.

College hadn't started and I only worked half the day but everly time I would start to unpack Drake would take my out or do something else to take my attention away from the boxes.

"So what do you think?" I asked proud of myself.

Drake stood behind me with his arms wrapped around my waist and kissing my neck. "Awesome!" He said not even looking up.

"Come on, you gotta look!"

"Wow you're good" He said sarcasticly. "What's that?" He pointed to the shopping bags in the corner of the room.

"I stopped at a few stores got a few essentials."

"A few?" he said counting the bags with his eyes.

"Yup one or two"

"Why don't we go out tonight?" He said taking my hand pulling me towards the door.

"Drake I'm not even dressed I'm in my sweats!"

"Who cares you look beautiful."

"Well thank you but I'm tired cant we just lay in bed and never get up again?"

"That sounds great!" He said now pulling me back to the bed. He sat on the egde pulling me down to his lap.

"I'm glad you came with me." He said in a low hush.

"I'm glad I came too!" I said kissing him gently.

Drake bit on my lip wanting more, his kissing was so passionetlyt that i thanked god i was sitting on his lap because they made my knees weak.

**A/N: Thank you for all your reviews so far I really appreciate it!! I hope you like it please review...  
**


	8. Make a wish

"_Good morning New York ! It's going to be a beautiful day today!"_

I struggle to open my eyes I reached over Drake sleeping body to turn off the alarm clock. I stumble to the bathroom looking for aspirin to nurse my throbbing head but I knew the relief would not come fast enough today. My bones ached and my stomach turned the sleep depravation was starting to take a real toll on my body and mind.

I finished getting ready for school I felt as if I was in a daze and every bone in my body begged for me to just go back to bed and cuddle up next to Drake, but I knew better then that I knew I had to go to class I was already falling behind. I kissed Drake gently on his forehead; I grabbed my book bag and started my 20 block trudge to school.

"Beautiful day my butt!" I mumbled to myself, the sky was grey and the cloud look as if they were going to open up at any minute threatening me with a down pour.

This really set the pace for my day, miserable like the weather! I sat in class trying to will myself to just listen, just absorbed some of the lesson into my brain. But I couldn't concentrate I watched the clock willing with every ounce of energy in my body to go just a little faster. I started to listen to the rain tapping on the window and the clock ticking by slower then ever before.

"Mrs. Taylor?" A loud voice forced me out of my inner thoughts.

"I'm here!" I said quietly.

"I wasn't taking attendance. I wanted an answer for the problem on the board."

"Oh…um…" I inhaled deeply running my hands through my hair. Then the bell rang and I couldn't help but smile and jump out of my seat. "Saved by the bell." I smirked to myself.

I gathered my stuff up before the teacher could say anything else and made a bee line for the quad. I spotted Josh from across the courtyard typing away at his computer he was always doing some sort of school work.

"Hey how are you?" I said letting out a sigh of relief.

"I'm good I'm just finishing up an assignment."

"Oh…well I don't want to interrupt you… I'll just read." But instead of pulling out a text book I pulled out a magazine that I had pulled out of the pile of mail that

hadn't been opened in the past week. Bill, bill, bill shit how did I spend so much money! I couldn't believe the total on these credit cards. I really didn't know how to use my time wisely or my money.

"No... It's okay. How are you?" He said after finishing up a few more sentences.

"I'm okay you know… same old." I stuffed the pieces of paper back into my back pack trying to hide them even from myself.

"So are you excited about the tour?"

"What tour?" I said completely confused.

"Didn't Drake tell you about the tour me and him will be going on for 2 months? I thought he was going to ask you to come?" He said red faced now stuttering to find the right words. "You know what he probably just forgot. " you know with his CD going to the top of the charts and his CD signing he is just so busy anymore." Josh said trying to cover for his brother like always.

"Yeah… maybe." I said not even believing it myself this would be his first tour how could he just forget like that.

I tried to change up the subject feeling like an outsider in this topic. "What were you working on?"

"Oh it's actually an interesting topic. It's an essay about..." He started to explain and I felt my thought drifting away once again, I looked at him and nodded my head like a puppet on a string.

Why the hell did he had to pick Chemistry? Who in there right mind would want to be put through that torture for the rest of there lives on purpose.

...so you see it's simple." He finished his speech, I smiled and nodded

"Cool" I said not knowing what else to say.

"You actually understood all of that?"

I shook my head yes. "Not one word!" I said smiling.

After my last class I had to run to the coffee shop I need to bring home some kind of money to justify these bills that were threatening to take over my life. I closed up the coffee shop shewing the last of the lingering costumers out, and locking the door behind me. I ran to the apartment not wanting to drown in all the rain that was pouring down on me.

I step into the apartment pushing the door shut with my back as if I had to keep a monsters out. I let out a deep sigh, slid down the door until I was on my butt, I closed my eyes just for a little while. I was just so happy to be home and that myday was over.

"Hello?" I yelled and throwing my bookbag in the corner and plopping on the couch.

The light was blinking on the answering machine I didn't think I had the strength to push the button but i did it anyways but now I wish I didn't.

_Hello Carly, This is Frank. Mom gave your number so I thought I would call you. I don't live too far maybe you can come over one day. So here is my address..._

That guy just really doesn't get it, does he? Didn't I make it completely clear that I didn't want to see him in San Diego. why would he think I would want to see him in New york?

I flipped through the TV Hoping to find anything to take m mind off everything. I laid my head on the arm of the couch running my hands through my wet hair. My eyes were heavy and I gave into the peacefulness it seemed to promise.

I heard the door open and the thump of his guitar case as it hit the wall. "Hey baby were you sleeping?" Drake asked leanig over the couch.

"I was but it's okay!" I said smiling up at him.

"What's wrong? You look sad" He said running his fingers down my face.

"It was just one of those days where nothing went my way you know?" I said forcing a smile.

Drake walked around the couch making himself comfortable next to me, wrapping his arms around me. I welcomed the warmth his body brought to my still damp body that still haven't recoved from the rain.

"Did you have work today?" He asked flicking the collar of my uniform.

"Yeah i had to close."

"Carley you woke up first thing this morning to go to school and then you close up at the coffee shop your going to spread yourself too thin and then there will be none left for me. I want you to quite your job."

"Drake i dont want to be one of those girls."

"One of what girls."

"One of those girls who just mooch off of there boyfriends and don't contribute anything."

"Baby if it wasn't for me you would be at hoe with your mom and you wouldn't have to worry about all of this." He said kissing my cheek softly.

"Are you sure?"

He answered my question with a kiss gently on the lips he slid his fingers down my face. I don't know what it was but i must have just been so happy I felt a tear run down my cheek.

"Are you okay baby, your crying?" He said wiping the tear away from my cheek. "I just want you to be happy."

"No... I'm happy." I said putting my arms around his neck. "I dont think I have ever been happier."


	9. Dirty little secret

Drake was now back from the tour but he might as well still be away. I went to school all day and he worked and partied all night we never seen each other except for the few minutes in between when we pass each other like strangers in each others house. He was different he, I couldn't put my finger on it and I chalked it all up to him just being exhausted. Everyone wanted a piece of him and when it was finally time to share it with me there was nothing left to offer, and the worst part is I let him get away with it, I give all of me and he won't even take it.

I had one thing to rejoice about was that it was finally winter vacation, and mostly I just caught up on my sleep. I got a little sick of waiting around for something to do so I decided to go and visit Drake at the studio maybe make him take me out to lunch.

"Hey Carly!" The girl at the front desk greeted me with a smile. "Going to see drake?"

"Yeah… I thought maybe I would surprise him and we could go out to lunch."

"Well that sounds romantic, Look I just going to buzz you in so you can surprise him."

"Aww… thank you." I said trotting up the stairs leading to the recording studio. I was so giddy I didn't know when the last time I was so happy. I walked through the door raising my hands in surprise but my hands dropped quickly and my jaw dropped as well as the image of a girl straddling Drake on the executive's chair getting ready to unhook her bra.

Drake looked at me and I wasn't mad or sad and definitely not happy. I was numb I loved him so much how could he treat me this way he would have to know how much this would hurt me. I looked at him with so many questions in my eyes. That one second seemed to last for ever and never did his eyes say sorry or show any remorse, what they said was "Shit I got caught!". He jumped out of the seat dropping the shocked girl on the floor.

"Baby I can explain." He said trying to button up his jeans.

"Explain what? Breaking my heart, losing my trust, how she was so great you were willing to lose me? Well just tell you, you will never have anyone half as good as me again!"

"Carly wait!"

"No you already lost me." I said running down the steps blinking my eyes willing my tears to stay back. I stood in the middle of the crowd watching the people pass me by. Why didn't he chase after me more why didn't he try harder. I asked myself wiping away the traitorous tears that had escaped. I didn't know where I was supposed to go, all I had was Drake in New York so I went back to the apartment throwing my clothes in bags as if was a race against time and it was I wanted to get out of there and to the airport before I had to tangle with Drake again. My mom bought me a ticket home, I told her I just missed her and she was so excited she didn't pressure me for more details. I called Josh after I landed back in San Diego , just so he wouldn't worry.

When I landed in San Diego I didn't feel better I felt worse. I slept a bit but that didn't help. I took a deep breath and pushed the luggage cart towards the exit. I saw Mom and Jeremy I took a deep breath and painted on a smile. I didn't want them to know about me and Drake so I pretended everything was going peachy keen! I didn't want them to hate him I didn't want to hate him, I wanted to make up my own mind before I let other people but in there two cents.

"Carly!" My mom yelled waving her hands in the air.

"Hey!" I hugged them both as tight as I could.

"Look at you, you look thin. Do you eat enough?" My mom screeched without losing her smile.

"Mom!" I whined pushing he hands away from my waist.

"You look worried or tired? " She wais pushing the hair out of my eyes.

"Mom is this your subtle way of telling me I look like crap? " I smirked.

"No baby that's not what I'm saying I worry about you. I just want to make sure your okay. "

"Mom I'm fine" I said kissing her cheek lightly. I didn't want to tell her that I was completly heart broken, or that every time I saw a boy that slightly resembled Drake my brain refused to provide my body with oxegen and my stomach would turn in to a stone and threaten to make me sink in my own thoughts. I didn't want to think of that anymore, I looked at my once little brother staring down at me.

"Jeremy how are you doing, you're taller that me now!" I squeled kissing his cheek.

We drove home and I went straight to bed since it was late and i just didn't want to deal with life at the moment. I laid in bed alone and felt so lonely. I pushed my face in to my pillow and cried silently until my body sucommed to sleep


	10. Does it feel like home?

I woke up almost forgetting where I was but then I realized it was the same bed I woke up time and time again alone in high school I wasn't in New York I was in California . All the images came flooding back into my head of Drake and the girl that couldn't even hold a candle to me.

"Carly breakfast is ready!" I heard my mom call from down the stairs. This time even food wasn't going to make me feel better unless it was a gallon of Ben and Jerry's. I threw on my jeans and tee shirt I wasn't dressing to impress I just wanted to make it through the day. I walked down the stairs were my mom and brother were sitting at the kitchen table like a happy family I couldn't stomach that right now and told them I was heading out to see Jessica. I called Jessica and told her to meet me at the beach and I tried to get in touch with Marky but I had no luck it just went right to voice mail.

I sat on the beach thinking about how much I missed watching the waves come in, I missed the smell of the salty air and the simple life it represented. Jessica came up from behind me sitting down next to me not saying a word just taking me into an embrace. I didn't have to tell her she just knew she could see the whole story unraveled in my eyes.

"So what happened?"

"Let not talk about it!" I whined fighting to keep the tears at bay.

"Fine so how's school?" She said changing the subject.

"I don't want to talk about that either!" I half giggled throwing my body back in the sand. "I tried to call Markey but I had no luck how is he doing?"

"I actually don't know he hasn't been around much since you left it's as if we were never friends."

"Really?" I was so taking back by the way Markey was acting we had all been friends since the beginning of time it seemed. But I guess we all grow up and separate at some point.

Me and Jess laid in the sand just talking like old times no worries in the world except for the annoying buzzing sound my phone would make in my back pocket from Drake calling every 5 minutes until I turned it off. Jessica went home to get ready for a date she offered to cancel and stay with me a little it longer but I wanted to be by myself. I felt as if I didn't have anywhere to go my mom's house wasn't mine anymore and I didn't want to go back to New York were Drake would be waiting for me. So I just walked I walked until the sun set and I was the only one left of the beach.

"Carly!" I heard a deep voice call for me. All I could see was a shadow; the moon light reflecting off the ocean was the only source of light left. I walked closer to the shadow.

"Marky?"

"What you don't even recognize me it's been so long." He snickered. "You know you could have called every once in a while." He said kicking up the sand.

"The door swings both ways, you never came knocking down my door." I said wrapping my arms around him tightly; his scent flooded my senses, surf board wax and nacho's, I giggled to myself.

"How are you?" He asked lowly still not letting me go.

"I'm fine."

"No your not!" He said taking my face in his hands. "You have never lied to me why start now?"

His eyes had so much compassion in them and his voice was so soft almost angelic I couldn't help but completely break down. I couldn't get words out just sobs I buried my head into his shoulder as he ran his fingers through my hair. He didn't rush me or try to make me man up, he just let me finish, he let me get it all out and when I felt as if I cried all the tear I could he would rub his hands down my back and wipe the hot tears from my face.

I finally stopped long enough to tell him everything that had gone on in New York from the beginning all the way up to the second I had seen him. I forgot how much I missed him and maybe how I kind of needed him in my life he filled this void in my heart that I had felt as if I was missing but I pushed it in the back of my head and tried to forget about it.

"I am such a bad friend you sitting his listening to me bitch a moan about my crappy life I never even asked you about yours."

"What makes you think my life's crappy?" He said with a smirk.

"No…no… I didn't mean it like that." I said laying my head in his lap.

We talked until the sun came up we watched it slowly rise above the slowly lapping waters. I finally decided it was time to go home when I could hardly keep my eyes open. I climbed through my window like I use to do in high school when I would sneak out to see Drake. I snuggled between my sheets and comforter willing the thought of sneaking out with Drake to leave my brain but nothing would work. The smell of bacon flooded my senses, I looked at the alarm clock it was 7 am already there was no use trying to sleep now I just wanted to get out of the house before my mom started with all the questions again. I walked around a little with no place to really go. I ended up in me and Drake secret place by the lake. I sat down on the rock skipping stones across the lake.

"Carly!" I heard my name echo off the rock walls surrounding me in seclusion. I spun around thinking it would be Marky but when I turned around my heart skipped a beat and my stomach felt as it had dropped to the bottom of the lake. "I have been looking everywhere for you, I should have guess you would be here." Drake said pushing his brown locks out of his eyes smiling down at me.

"Drake please just leave me alone."

"I'm not leaving; I flew across the country to see you."

"And I flew across the country to get away from you!" I shot back. I saw the look that flashed across his face hurt. The taste of victory wasn't so sweet it was actually a bit bitter.

"I'm sorry Carly, I'm sorry, I was stupid! I was wrong I want to make it right. He pleaded jumping down the rocks to get to me, grabbing at my waist. "She means nothing to me."

My heart dropped as I looked into his eyes. They looked hurt and somehow lost. He pulled me in closer, I wanted to push him away, run, push him in the lake but i didn't i let him hold me tighter and tighter. I never wanted to be apart from him ever again.

We didn't say anything else we just sat there in silence. I couldn't believe he had such an effect on me.

I woke up the next morning to shuoting out my bedroom window. I looked out of the window and saw Drake and Marky shouting at each other. I got out of bed and ran down to the yard.

"Dude just go back to your rock star life and find yourself a groupie because Carly is way to good for you!" Markey shouted in Drakes face.

"Get out of my way and mind your own business, shes my girlfriends she's coming back to New York with me!"

"No shes not! " Marky said almost winded.

Drake pushed Marky and Markey pushed Drake back.

"Hey, hey. Guys take it easy!" I shouted as I stood between them trying to keep them apart.

"I told you I'd kick you ass if you hurt her! "

"Marky just stop." I said holding him back by his shoulders.

"C'mon bring it!" Drake said with a smile. Marky pushed me out of the way making his way over to Drake.

Markey tried to punch Drake but he dodged. "Mark stop it!" I screamed and tried to drag him away from Drake but he was stronger than me. He walked back towards Drake.

"Woah...Cool a fight!" Jeremy yelled as if this was a show.

"Jeremy go back in the house!"

I pulled on Drakes shirt to make him stop but it was to late he already decked him.

"Drake!! What did you do!" I started at him in disbelieve.

"Are you okay?" I walked over to Marky and keened down next to him. "Yea I'm good" I helped him stand up.

"Mark, I think its better when you leave now" I told him. He gave me a look that said _and what about him? _I waited until he was gone than pushed Drake and

Jeremy to make them walk in.

"What is wrong with you? Did you had to hit him?"

"He started" Drake pouted defending himself like kinder garden kid.

"He started" I replied annoyed.


	11. Move along

We didn't waste to much more time in San Diego we went right back to New York and things were great for about 2 days but then it all fell to hell. I didn't know if he was still cheating but he was never around I stayed by myself most days and nights. I could have gone back home but I just kept thinking let him get use to this change he'll get sick of it and everything will be back to normal.

It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon; it was a great day to shop. Josh and I walked down the crowded streets bobbing in and out of stores. Josh now had a serious girlfriend named Naomi; she was from Chicago and was traveling all the way down here to visit him for the weekend. But his apartment looked more like a cave then a home, so I tagged along with him to give him some pointers.

We walked up to the top floor of Macy's to look at mattresses, what he had now was unacceptable for a serious girlfriend it was a lumps old futon that some one had handed down to him. I found one that I had liked and plopped down on it. Josh hesitantly sat on the edge.

"How are you going to know if you like it if you don't try it out?" I said patting the spot next to me.

He laid down next to me closing his eyes switching his body in different positions. "So how are you and Drake?" He asked finding a comfortable position spreading his arms out.

"I actually don't know, I'm just you know...hurt. And I am not quit sure he if he has stopped cheating... Some days I know he loves me and those days are great but one the days I know he doesn't are twice as miserable because I know how great it can be."

"That's just Drake, he's always been like that you know...but I can tell that he loves you. He had this look on his face when he found that you had left, he dropped everything to go see you and he had an appearance scheduled for TRL that day."

"Mmmhhh...So how is Naomi" I said trying to change the subject. I knew tats Drake loved me it was just he had a problem showing it. Josh smiled like a giddy school girl at the sound of her name. They had been going out for 4 months now. She was smart, pretty and loved all of Josh's quirks.

"She's fine, we're doing really good, she's perfect you know..." He said now wiggling his toes like it had sent electric shocks through his body just thinking about her. I missed that feeling I missed the butterflies and the goosebumps.

"So when exactly does she come? " I asked sitting up in the bed.

"In two days. " Josh jumped off the bed and pulled me off with him. We walked through the rest of the store picking up little things to make the apartment more homey.

It has been almost a year since Drake and I moved to New York together. I stood in the kitchen making dinner for myself knowing Drake wouldn't show up. I ate alone and did some homework. I layed on the couch and lazily clicked through the channels, there was nothing on good enough to make me forget my troubles.

I had fallen asleep on the couch with the TV as company. It was about two o'clock in the morning when Drake came home. I jumped up when i head the door clumsily slammed shut.

"Hey Baby..." He sat down next to me as if it was appropriate to come home at all hours of the night.

"Hey, where have you been?" I said straightening myself up.

"You know just out with the guys, don't worry baby." He said putting his arm around my shoulders. I knew it was a lie unless the guys started to wear cheap perfume. The closer he sat next to me the stronger it got, I couldn't stand it anymore it was making me literally sick to my stomach.

"Oh" I smiled sadly. I got up and walked to the kitchen. I ran my fingers through my hair. I pored some vodka into my class of coke and sighed the TV didn't help but I was positive this would help me forget my problems even if it was temporary .

I self medicated with alcohol and it was pretty apparent but he didn't notice or maybe he didn't care. I was the only way I could be close to him without wanting to kill him. I made my way to the couch and leaned my head on his shoulder and slowly fell asleep.

**_Thanks for reading and please don't forget to review..._**


	12. I can't quit you, Baby

I sat in front of the laptop trying to will my brain to absorb what I was reading but it wasn't working I had so much on my mind. I mean the trouble between me and Drake made finals look like a cake walk and Josh and his new girlfriend didn't make things any easier. They were always laughing, touching, just enjoying each others company, and it made me realize I have no one. I had pushed everyone so far away just to be with Drake, just to give him everything he needs and of course he leaves me with nothing, or at lease I feel like nothing without him. How did I let myself get so tangled up in him that I lost myself?

Drake was becoming more famous everyday with his CD climbing the charts. He was a different person, his head was so full of hot air he didn't even try to stay grounded, not even for me. The thought of this breaks my heart and makes me want to fall to my knees and curse the world but I don't I try to keep my chin high and pray as hard as I have ever prayed so that maybe one day we would have that life I dreamed.

"Babe, I'm home" Drake yelled. He voice sounded like something I haven't heard in a while, happy, happy to see me.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I asked confused, I looked at the clock hanging on the wall. It's only 3 in the afternoon this was a very rare occurrence for him, but i didn't want to think about that I just wanted to be happy like him, maybe this is what I prayed for.

"Well, I live here!" He replied with a goofy grin.

"Oh do you? Let me think about it" I told him sarcastically trying to keep it up beat, I turned my chair around and tried to get back to my work.

"I know, I know I haven't be here a lot recently but I have a surprise for you!" He said putting his arms around me and the chair flashing 2 plane tickets in front of my face.

"Drake I can't go anywhere I have finals!" I said completely heart broken. I knew if I didn't go he would just find someone to take my place.

"Are you sure? I mean I thought you would like 2 weeks away from all of this. " He spun my chair around so I was facing him. When my eyes met his I could still see that spark of the old Drake it was hard to see but it was still there.

"It would be nice to just get away. I miss the beach. " I said running my fingers along his hand that was firmly grasping the chairs arm. I missed his soft skin when it was next to mine. I couldn't think of anything else except for the electricity that his touch was sending up my spine. He moved his hand slowly to my face letting his finger linger from my temple to my chin. His touch took my breath away and i couldn't take it anymore, his face was so close to mine his lips inches from my face. I stood up putting my hands around his neck kissing him feverishly knocking his down on to the couch. I don't know what came over me, it was like he had been away for so long and now he was finally back. I wanted to take advantage of this moment.

"Carly... baby... the plane leave in 2 hours. " He said in between kisses. At this point I was unzipping his pants. My lips left his and slowly moved down his body. I just wanted to make him happy to make him love me.

"We can get a later flight. " He moaned.


	13. It's a lesson I've learned

Our vacation was a whirl wind of laughs and lust but it was short lived. As soon as we touched back down in New York everything went right back to hell on earth. He was there but yet he wasn't mine I could touch him but I couldn't have him. This tortured me I didn't know how to deal with it so I just did my best to ignore it. I ignored when he came home smelling of cheap perfume or if he didn't come home at all. I would just smile like a hallow fool all to keep him close. I had no where to run and nothing to occupy my time. Some times I was so desperate I would pick up the phone and start calling my mom but I could never finish the numbers I didn't want to deal with her and her disappointment of me dropping out of college. Well I didn't drop out they just kind of kicked me out because I didn't show up for finals.

I sat in the tiny café with Josh sipping on coffee not really talking, just trying to find the right words to open up the conversation. I hadn't seen Josh in a long time since we weren't in school together and he was always with Naomi.

"You need to come back to school!" Josh blurted out as more of a demand then a request.

"I know josh I messed up royally! I'm going to go back it's just going to take some time."

"Drakes not always going to be there you going to have to have some kind of skill."

The comment hurt like a knife cutting through one of my bones. I knew that in my heart but I didn't know it was so obvious to everyone around us. I held back my tears and tried to change the subject.

"So how are you and Naomi?" I asked with a smile. But as soon as he opened his mouth I just sort of drifted off. I started thinking of what I could do without any education and all the prospects looked bleak.

"So at least I can get some good pizza." I heard Josh say.

"Pizza?" I questioned.

"Yeah Chicago style pizza!" He answered rolling his eyes.

"Oh are you going to visit Naomi?"

"You weren't listening where you?" He asked with a half giggle.

"I'm sorry Josh." I said a little disappointed in myself.

"Its alright I was just saying that I was going to ask Naomi to marry me and that I'm going to look into buying a house in Chicago . That's all!" He said quickly. It took me a second for me to soak it all up.

"You're moving to Chicago ?" I spit out. "That's a different time zone!"

"I know but we'll still be close." Josh said reaching his hand across the table for mine.

Something caught my eyes over Josh's shoulder it was a girl reading a magazine with a picture of Drake and a beautiful girl. The head line Read "Yes, It's true. I'm Carrying His baby!" I pulled my hand away violently from Josh's.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No Josh turn around!"

"What?"

"Turn around."

Josh turned his head but couldn't see what I saw. I jumped out of my seat and walked over tot eh girl.

"I'll give you 10 dollars for that magazine!" I asked like a crazy person. I took the money out of my back pocket and put it on the table. She smiled and handed over the magazine.

"Josh look!" I held out the magazine inches from his face.

"wait… what?"

"It's a tabloid Carly! You don't know if it's true!"

I ignored Josh and read more and the more I read the more my heart sank there were pictures of the two of them kissing and hugging. They looked like they loved each other; he looked at her that way he use to look at me.

"I need to go." I said storming out of the café not even saying bye. I rush emotions came over me while I walked home.


	14. if you play with fire you'll get burned

**_A/N: Thank you for all your reviews I really appreciate it and love to read them!!...So thank you so much :)  
Oh and also I wanted to answer the question if it's the same Carly from this D&J epi. (Almost forgot! lol) No it's not! Just the same name..._**

As I walked home a rush of emotions came over me but it couldn't be pin pointed to just one. I was angry with him for sure, he cheated and now everyone will know. I was angry at myself because I knew what was going on and I just let him get away with it.

When I was half way home it started to pour and I welcomed the down pour because now no one could tell that I was crying. When I finally made it back to the apartment Drake was still sleeping in bed recovering from one more wild and crazy night without me. I stood in the door way contemplating what to do next; he looked so innocent just lying there. I tried to think of my plan of attack should I go in there like a mad women or slowly confront him.

"Hey baby why are you so wet?" Drake asked sluggishly.

"Drake I need to ask you something and I want you to be completely honest."

"What's the matter Carly?" He asked patting a spot on the bed.

I walked slowly towards the bed thinking the worst but praying for the best

"I just… I know… God!" I said frustrated it was as if I forgot how to speak.. I searched for the right words but nothing came out. I patted my wet purse feeling the magazine's outline. I unzipped the pocket and pulled it out looking at it one more time then handing it over to Drake.

"What's this?" Drake asked gently taking the dry paper out f my hands swinging his feet over the edge of the bed.

"Is it true?" I asked feeling my heart break piece by piece all over again. He didn't answer he just flipped open the magazine trying to find the story. I watched his face closely for any hint of his answer but it was blank his face went white; it was as if you could literally see the blood drain from his face.

"My parents are going to see this!" He said putting his head in his hands.

"Your parents!" I said outraged, I couldn't keep it in anymore! "How about me you sleaz ball?" I was now throwing an all out tantrum; things were flying out of my mouth that I couldn't even believe. "You have me sitting at home like Mrs. Fucking Suzie home maker! I'm convenient for you! You take me away from my family and friends, for what? To ruin my life? To break my heart?"

"Carly… Please give me a second to think about this."

"What you want to think up another excuse for why you're never around or why you can't make it home every night? Well Drake you make you excuses what ever makes it easier to sleep at night because I wouldn't be your warm body anymore. I am way too good for you, for this!"

"Carly I don't even love her! I'm so sorry!"

"Well it's a little to late now… Please Drake your not sorry your hurt me! You're just sorry you got caught!" I said with such calmness and coolness that I scared me I walked around the room picking up my jewelry box and cell phone throwing anything to real importance in my over sized canvas purse.

"Carly I love you." He said quietly like maybe even he didn't believe it anymore. I didn't say anything I just looking at him with the same loving eyes since day one. I kissed him gently on his forehead running my finger tips down the side of his face as I pull away, from him, from this life.


	15. it's a chance to fix mistakes

On the D-Day of my relationship I had walked out on Drake, my head was so clear yet my heart was so confused. My head was trying to talk sense of all of this but my heart was telling a different story. I walked the crowded streets of New York trying to straighten things out, I walked until I couldn't walk anymore, I stood on the corner to hail a cab but when I got in, I had no where to go. I sat in the back seat fumbling for words, I decided to go back to the apartment, I searched the rooms and Drake was no where to be found. His clothes, his guitar everything was gone. I flopped down on the bed ready to just give up on life, on love until I saw a letter sitting by my head on top of Drakes pillow.

Dear Carly,

_All I have ever wanted to do was make you happy, but how can I make you happy when I'm not even happy? I am going away for a while to find myself I will get in touch when I figure things out._

_You will always be my first real love!_

_Drake Parker_

Tears filled my eyes as I read the letter making it almost impossible. That's it, that's all he has to say? He takes me to New York away from my friends and family. I had pushed them all so far away just to be close to him and now he leaves me broke and alone! How could he do this to me?

I spent a few weeks at the apartment alone and in a drunken, depressed stupor. When the first rent bill arrived I panicked I didn't want to live on the streets I was completely maxed out. I had nothing I had no one. I couldn't go back home I couldn't take the embarrassment of the _I told you so's _and the disappointment of my mother. I royally messed up my life! I packed everything and somehow I wound up on the door step of my fathers house, hoping he would take pity of me. The truth is I didn't care what my father thought because I will always think 100 times worse, plus he owes me anyways.

I willed my self to ring the door bell and actually stay put.

"Carley?" He asked with a slack jaw.

"Frank." I responded dully. I wish this was one of those moments on TV where he takes me in his embrace and apologizes for never being around and then we both cry forgetting the past but it didn't go that way nothing in my life goes that way.

"What are you doing here? How did you even know where I lived?"

"Ugh…well nice to see you too. Can I at least come in?" I asked sharply a little offended that he wasn't graveling.

"Oh… yeah I'm sorry, you just surprised me you're the last person I would suspect to find on my door step. Come on in… Come on in." He said with a smile ushering me through the door.

I looked around for a second before settling on the couch. The house was nice simple, it had a real lived in feeling.

"Carley what are you doing here?"

"I need…" I drummed my finger and ran them through my hair. "I need a place to stay."

"Are you okay?"

The question cut me like a knife; I have been trying not to think about how I really was covering it up with alcohol and Tylenol PM so I just make it though the day. But I wouldn't reveal this to him; I would never give him the satisfaction.

"I'm fine I just need a place to stay until I find a job and get my own place."

"It shouldn't be a problem we have a spare bedroom."

"We?" I asked confused.

"My wife Judy. You'll like her she's a free spirit like you."

"Where is she?"

"Judy? She works the night shift at the hospital."

This was actually the last place I wanted to be but he just nodded and led me up the stairs to the guest room. He showed me the bathroom and told me good night before he went back to bed. I quickly undressed and hoped into bed. The covers were stiff like they were never used and everything in here felt so impersonal; just strange. I listen to the rain drum against the window and tried to sleep. I snuggled up in the cover but it didn't help; I couldn't find a comfortable position. Some tears escaped my eyes and disappeared into the pillow.

**_A/N: I hope you guys liked it!! And now everybody please click this little blue buttom and write a review...:)_**


	16. Take these broken wings and learn to fly

I woke up the next morning feeling completely out of my element. I wanted to be crawled up in bed with Drake. But I was stuck in this house full of strangers. I don't know where to go from here but I have to believe that there is no going down because I have hit rock bottom. This thought makes me a little happy knowing I can only go up from here. I don't want to just lie in bed I want to get out in the world that I have been hiding from and put my mark on it. I woke up with ambition, energy, and a little spunk

I get dressed in my most formal of work clothes, as I trotted down the stairs I could hear giggling coming from the kitchen I peeked my head in cautiously.

"Carley." The slender woman greets me with a smile. "Good morning your dad has told me so much about you. I'm glad I finally get to meet you."

I smile awkwardly her sweetness made my teeth ache and stomach turn it was to early in the morning and in this awkward relationship for artificial sweetness. I should have shown some compassion to the woman who has let me into her house but I don't I grab a coffee cup off the counter and pour the dark liquid completely to the top.

"Cream?" She asks with an even bigger smile.

I carefully study her; she was a simple woman standing about 2 inches taller then me in her pressed scrubs. She has long dark hair pulled back into a band; freckles cascade down her nose to her cheeks. I shake my head no weakly and walked out into the living room where Frank was staring at the weatherman trying to predict the future.

"Carley where are you going so early in the morning I was going to let you sleep in."

"Yeah… I wanted to get an early start on the job search." I say sheepishly.

"Well can I give you a ride anywhere?"

"No… I don't want to innconvience you anymore then I have already. But if I could borrow a few dollars until I get a job I would appreciate it." I said sticking my hands in my empty pockets awkwardly.

"How about I give you a ride into town and here." He said digging into his wallet handing me a 100 dollar bill.

"No I meant like 20."

"It's to make up for the allowances I missed."

"I appreciate it!" I said looking down at the bill then shoving it my purse.

The ride was silent listening to the radio morning show, playing with my finger nails, looking out the window anything to avoid eye contact or a conversation with Frank.

"_And this morning on the pop buzz Drake Parker on hiatus! He cancelled the rest of his tour and going into rehab. What is wrong with these teeny boppers they can't handle the lime light…And in other news…"_

Rehab? Why rehab? What was he going for?

"Is that why you're here?" Frank asked.

"What?"

"Are you here because Drakes going into rehab?"

"Umm… I don't want to talk about it." I felt my face turn red with array of mixed emotions, anger, confusion, and loneliness.

"That's okay your welcome to stay with us for as long as you need. No questions asked." He smiled patting my knee softly.

I smiled back shyly I was a little confused but appreciative.

"Can I just ask you one thing?" He said lowly.

"Sure." I gulped.

"Does your mother know you're here?"

I shook my head no and went right back on looking out the window.

"Hey, how was you day?" Judy asked enthusiastically from the couch. She was still in her pajama's watching Oprah and it made me think of Josh. I pushed the thought in the back of my head, his happy life and engagement. Why couldn't I have that?

She waited for my answer patiently with a smile, she patted the seat next to her. I took the seat letting my tired feet take a rest.

"What time does Frank come home?"

"Um… around six." She said turning down the volume on the TV.

"So did you have any luck?"

"Actually I did." I have an interview tomorrow with a little clothing boutique it was cute and quite. The owner makes all the clothes her self." I said with a spark of enthusiasm. It wasn't working with Vogue or Ford but it was as close as I could get for now.

"So how is school going for you? You dad… Frank… Told me you're at NYU. That must be exciting."

"I dropped out."

"Oh… Well I dropped out in my second year and I have the job I always dreamed of so college isn't always for everyone."

"I don't know I wanted college, I wanted the experience but I got a whole other experience that I didn't bargain for." I know I was speaking in code that maybe even I didn't understand, I didn't know why I was opening up to her but I was letting it all spill out.

"Your boyfriend?"

"Yeah… you know him?"

"Of course I know him I'm not that old, I watch TMZ!" She half giggled.

I blushed at the thought of how public our life really was for those few months. I was speechless.

"Well I always say any experience is good even if it was a bad one. I mean how many people get to do the rock star thing? Going to all the exclusive clubs, the vacations, the private parties?"

"Yeah I guess I never thought about it like that."

"Was he your first love?" She asked scooting in closer like I was telling a bed time story.

"Yeah and I was his first."

"Did he break your heart?"

I bit my lip bottom lip holding the tears back. I shook my head because nothing would come out of my mouth.

"That's the best experience of all." She cooed.

"How can you say that?" I asked holding back the sobs that were threatening my lips.

"Because then you know how great it is to be loved once it happens again." She smiled softly.

I thought about this and smiled inside.

"I'm going to go up to my room…" I said wiping away my tears and making my way blindly up the stairs.

"Well it was nice talking to you Carly!" She called up to me.

"You too." I squeaked.

I crashed on to the bed a hysterical mess. I was sobbing uncontrollably stuffing my head in my pillow unable to catch my breath. I tried to calm my self down, I ended up crying myself to sleep.

I head a knock at the door and I sat up forgetting where I was. I looked at the alarm clock sitting next to me, 7 o clock Pm or Am I wondered.

"Carly I ordered pizza is you want any?" Franks voice boomed through the door.

"No… no thank you I'm fine." I said flipping my tear stained pillow. I forced myself out of bed and rummaged through my clothes to find the perfect outfit for tomorrow. I threw things on my bed to iron when I head my cell go off.

_Private Number-_My curiosity got the best of me and I flipped open the cell.

My hello was met with a pre recorded message.

_This is a pre paid call from a patient at international rehabilitation clinic if you would like to accept this call press 5._

I did as I was told and pressed 5.

Me- Hello?

Drake- Carly?

Me- Drake?

Drake-Yeah… How are you?

Me- Why are you calling me?

Drake- I just needed to hear your voice.

Me- Drake I really cant talk to you right now.

Drake- No please just give me a minute.

Me- I gave you a month I didn't hear anything from you. You left me in that apartment with nothing no money, no rent!

Drake- I'm sorry but I told you I would call you when I get help for myself.

Me- Well I'm glad to hear that but I have to go.

Drake- I never meant to hurt you. You know I never meant to hurt you.

Me- Drake I'm doing good I'm staying with my dad I'm trying to find a job. I need to help myself too, its just a shame we couldn't help each other.

Drake- That's great… I hope it all works out for you.

Me- Thank you.

Drake- Can I call you again?

Me- I don't….

Drake- Please even if its just for a minute.

Me- okay…

Drake- Bye Carly

Me- Bye Drake.

I hung up the phone not wanting to hear the dial tone. What was that? Why was he calling me? Doesn't he have a new life? With a new girl and a baby on the way?

Why didn't I ask that?

I picked the clothes off my bed and iron them until they were perfect. I jumped in the shower and let the beating water take me a way even it was only for a little while.


	17. Do you think it's alright?

**_A/N: OMG guys I'm so sorry...this chapter has been ready so long and I just forgot to put it up...I apologize...you haven been more than patient...I hope you enjoy ready it and leave a review...:) thank you..._**

The next day was one of the rare days that went by without any drama. I had my job interview in the morning, which went exceptionally good. I sat on the couch in my dad's living room, flipping though the TV.

"Hey Carly!" Judy walked in with shopping bags in her hands.

"Hi Judy..." I got up and took a few bags off her hands.

She put the bags down on the kitchen table and started to place the grocery in the fridge.

"Didn't you have your interview today? How did it go?"

"Really good actually...I start on Monday."

"Hey that's awesome! So is that what you wanna do?" She squealed.

"You mean for the rest of my life? No, I don't think so...but it's better than my last job in the coffee shop so I guess it's an improvement." I said with a shrug of my shoulders.

"As long as you're happy with it then were behind you."

"I guess so..." I thought about what she said. It somehow made sense. I took a soda out of the refrigerator and retreated up to my room.

I spent the rest of the afternoon searching the Internet for apartments on my almost nonexistent budget.

My cell started vibrating on my desk. _Private number, _this time I was sure it was Drake it was around the same time as yesterday and no one else was calling me anymore.

Me- Hello?

Drake-Hey Carly

Me- Hey Drake

Drake- How are you?

Me- Um… I'm fine I had a job interview today and I got it.

Drake- Are you still in New York .

Me- I'm outside New York city , I'm staying with my dad but I'm trying to find an apartment.

Drake- So how is that going?

Me- Nothing has struck me yet but I'll keep looking

Drake- Yeah I kinda know what you mean (At this point I don't even think he was listening to me.) Can we meet up? Have coffee or anything?

Me- No… I really don't think that's such a great idea at this time.

"Carly dinner is ready" Judy yelled from down the stairs.

Me- Drake I have to go maybe we can talk later.

Drake- Oh… Okay bye.

I dropped the phone and went down for dinner. I didn't know what to make of Drakes request. Coffee, Is he kidding me? He had just broke my heart in a hundred pieces he was lucky I was even talking to him. I hadn't even notice that Frank had come home from work.

"Carly I heard you got the job congrats." He cheered pulling me into a bear hug. My gut instinct was to pull away to make some snotty remark like _well now I can move out faster. _I didn't, I didn't do any of this I held on to him taking him in. I missed the feeling of someone caring that I was even alive.

"Thank you." I said quietly with a diminutive smile.

It was Monday my first day of work. I woke up really early in the morning to make sure I wouldn't be late. I picked out my best outfit and spent half an hour to do my hair. I sat at the breakfast table sipping on coffee. I was too excited to eat. This job is exactly what I need. I can get my mind of Drake and my crappy life and maybe make it better.

"Good morning Carly!" My Dad came down the stairs in his work uniform.

"Morning!"

"Do you want me to drive you to work?"

"Um…. Yeah that would be great!"

He picked his duffle bag up off the floor and walked towards the door, I walked behind him like a little duckling taking a quick peek in the hallway mirror.

"How are Mom and Jeremy?" He asked as he was pulling out of the driveway.

"I guess they are fine but I haven't talked to them since I moved in with you guys." I said flipping my cell back and forth… I wonder if she worried I would be if my daughter was so far away. All it would take to put her mind at ease would be a phone call.

I walked through the front doors of the boutique.

"Good morning Mrs. Carly are you ready for your first Day?" Sandra the owner asked with a smile from ear to ear.

"To work here you have to love what you do. You can't just know style and fashion; you have to love my clothes you have to want to wear them because if you love it then the customers can tell. Plus I make them all myself so I wouldn't want someone who doesn't like my clothes to sell them."

"I understand and I think they are beautiful." I said trying to match her enthusiasm

My first day of work was a lot better then what I had expected. Sandra showed me the ropes and told me what was expected of me. I ran the cash register, stocked clothes, helped customers, and everything in between.

The more I talked to Sandra the more I liked her not just as a boss but as a friend. We talked the same language and it was great to talk to someone outside the house. As the week progressed out friendship had gotten closer. We went out to dinner daily to just talk about life, fashion and everything else.

I wanted to move on with my life I wanted to become the grown up I'm supposed to be. I was looking everyday for an apartment that I could afford. I finally ran into some luck and found a great apartment outside of the city. It wasn't exactly what I wanted but it was something that I could call my own. I decided to go for it I called the ad and made and appointment to go see it. But as soon as I hung up the phone _Private Caller _flashed across the screen. I flip open my phone and press 5 as prompted.

Me – Hello?

Drake – Hey Carly...How ya doing?

Me – Good...How about you? (still I hadn't asked him why he was in rehab)

Drake – Fine actually...you know. (I didn't) How was work today?

Me – I like it, I get to handle clothes all day.

Drake – So did you think about it?

Me – Think about what?

Drake – About us meeting up...you said you would think about it...

Me – No I didn't... I think its great that your concerned for me but don't you think this is all a little too late.

Drake – I know I was wrong Carly but that's why I'm here. I'm trying to straighten out my life..

Me- Why are you even in there? I mean I never seen drugs lying around and you don't even really drink..

Drake- Well maybe you didn't pay enough attention to me?

Me- You weren't around enough to pay attention to.

Drake- I know I shouldn't have said that I'm sorry I just miss you and it kills me being so close to you and not being able to be close to you.

Me- Drake you know I had work today and I'm really tired can I have a few more days to think about it?

(I heard something that sounded like a wimper at the other end of the phone.)

Me- Are you okay?

Drake- I just really miss you, no one else will even take my phone calls.

Me- Drake call me tomorrow okay.

Drake- Okay I'll call you tomorrow. Goodnight Carly, I love you.

Me- Goodnight.

I dropped the phone off the end of my bed and buried my face into my pillow and let out a scream of frustration!


	18. I'm good with or without you!

"This is just what I was looking for!" I told the property manager.

"Now the only thing that standing in your way to get this apartment is your credit, it doesn't look so good so your going to have to get someone to co-sign for you."

The tall man said flipping through his clipboard of papers.

"Well can you hold it for me, at least until tomorrow?"

"Well if you want to put the deposit down today we'll hold it for you."

"Okay!" I smiled taking out my check book.

I walked out of the apartment complex feeling as if I had accomplished something even though it wasn't mine yet I was going to find a way to make it mine. I rode home in the cab trying to figure out a game plan. When I walked through the front door I had it down to a science. Frank and Judy were lounging on the couch watching wheel of fortune.

"Frank… I mean dad. I need to talk to you." I said stepping in front of the television set.

"Is there something wrong?" He said worriedly.

"No… it's actually the opposite!" I smiled to reassure them. "I was looking around for an apartment and I found a great one closer to my work not to far from you guys, it's a one bedroom and its right in my price range."

"Well that's great Carly! But you know your welcome to stay here for as long as you want." Judy said cheerfully.

"I know, and I appreciate it… all of it! Its just my credit isn't so good so I was wondering if you could co-sign for me?" I said crossing my finger, it felt like forever before they answered and I had held my breath the entire time, I must have been blue.

"Sure… I don't see why not, you have been doing good saving up money. I'll sign for you." Frank said standing up with his arms outstretched for a hug. I hesitated for a moment and let him take me into his arms. It felt great to feel so loved, a hot tear dripped don my cheek but I wiped it away and straightened myself up.

"Thank you."

I went up to my room to pack up some items, when my phone went off at the same time it didn't every night for the past month or so. I didn't even look at the number or listen to the recording I just pressed 5.

Me- Hey… I'm actually glad you called!

Drake- Really… good… you sound like you're in a good mood.

Me- Yeah… I am…. I wanted to know if I could have the old apartment furniture I know your parents had it stored in the city.

Drake- Why do you need the furniture? What's wrong with your dads?

Me- Well it wouldn't be for my dad, I found an apartment and I would rather not fork out a whole bunch of money for furniture again.

Drake- You're moving out? On your own?

Me- I thought I told you I was looking for apartment.

Drake- you did but I just thought…

Me- I'd wait around for you?

Drake- Well yeah kind of!

Me- Drake… I cant!

Drake- Carly what do I have to look forward to if I don't have you.

Me- Drake I have been really patient with you… I haven't asked you why you were in there, I haven't asked you about that Brittany girl or your new baby on the

way! But I'm guessing there all the things you should be looking forward too. I'm moving on… You need to do the same.

Drake- Please Carly I don't want to do this over the phone just meet up with me… Tonight… tomorrow! I don't care just tell me when and where… I'll be there!

Me- I'm sorry Drake.

I hung up to phone wanting to just make a clean break; nothing was ever going to be the same between the two of us. There was always going to be suspicion and jealousy at least on my part. I wasted to much time sulking and feeling sorry for myself, for him!


	19. How deep is the ocean?

"God that was exhausting!" I huffed throwing myself on the couch.

Frank-dad dropped the last box in the corner with the rest of the bunch. "You're exhausted I carried all the boxes you just told me where to put them." He took a seat next to me on the couch looking completely depleted.

"Thank you, dad." I said leaning my head on his shoulder.

Frank put his hand in my hair and rubbed it gingerly, making a mess out of my already sloppy do.

"Hey guys I brought dinner over." Judy said walking through the front door with two canvas bags held up high. "Pasta!"

"Judy you're a life saver!" I cooed.

"I know with out me you would be having pizza again for the 5th night in a row."

"What am I gonna do with out you?" I asked playfully moving over to the counter.

"You don't have to be with out us were only a phone call away." She said desolately. I didn't know what to say I had grown so close to them in the little time I spent with them. They didn't pester me with questions of school or Drake they just let me be me. I was able to come to grips with my life and actually take a hold on it. But this all came crashing around me when Judy slid a gold envelope across the counter. I took my plate and the envelope over to the couch opening ever so carefully. As I pulled out the card lying inside silver confetti dropped out and swept around my feet.

_Mr. and Mrs. Joyce and Henry Colander  
request your  
presence at the marriage of their daughter_

_Naomi__ Marie  
with  
Mr. Josh Nichols  
Thursday, the ninth of May_

_Two thousand and eight  
at four o'clock in the afternoon  
St. Thomas 's Church  
San Diego_

_A coming out Party will be the day before _

_at the Nichols- Parker Residents at 5pm._

The Invitation must have taken its sweet time getting to me because it was only a week away. I just moved in and become situated at work and I was already going to have to take off and fly back to San Diego . I didn't let any of this defer me because if I was certain about anything in my life it would be that I wanted to be there for my best friend when he gets married. I withdrew the rest of my saving and bought a plan ticket but even worse then seeing the zero in my bank account was having to pick up the phone and call my mother for the first time since I moved into my dads.

I bit my lip and swallowed my pride as I walked towards her with open arms.

"Carly…" She said tearfully. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too mom." It felt good to be close to someone, to feel there heart beat next to mine. It had been so long since I let someone hug me like that.

I fallowed behind he silently letting her update me on things in her life. I was happy to listen because truly I believed she was not ready to hear about mine. The whole ride home was completely silent until we turned onto our old block.

"So how did you do in school?" She said with this hopeless smile on her face.

She knew the answer already it was just a matter of me admitting it, at that moment I felt myself sliding back into that black pit that had been my life.

"It was school and it wasn't for me. Maybe it will be someday but for right now it's not what I want.

I couldn't look at her I just stared straight out the window; I could hear her gulp loudly. "Well I guess it has to be something you want it is a big commitment. So how about you and Drake?"

"Mom… seriously can we at least get to the house before you give me the third degree. I mean you know were not together… everyone does."

"I know and I didn't mean to ask about you two…I just meant" Her voice was weak and frail, I now felt bad about yelling at her. "How have you been since him… it must be hard? The radio the TV they must be constant reminders."

"Mom I got over it." Is all I could conger up. I spent so much time trying not to think about it but I knew it was always there. As soon we got to the house I threw my things in my old room and threw myself on the bed never wanting to leave here. When I was younger it felt like a dungeon, a place I would have to go when I was in trouble I lived under someone else's rules and wishes, but now it was a place of safety no one could hurt me here.

I stood by the big oak door leading into the Parker-Nichols house but I couldn't bring myself to knock, but I didn't have to I took a step back and Josh swung the door open with full force.

"Carly… God I'm so glad you made it!"

"Me too." I said honestly. "Congratulations!" I said throwing myself into his open arms. He swept me into the dinning room where there were people from one end to the other. I congratulated Naomi and found a seat on the couch with her bridesmaids.

I smiled politely as everyone gave me the 'Oh that poor girl' look. I listened to the girls chat about the wedding tomorrow and the bachelorette party that was to happen tonight. I thanked god when Josh asked me to get some more drinks from the garage.

I walked out to the garden and on the small way to the garage behind the house. Half way there a saw drake sitting on the floor, his back leaning against the house-wall, staring up in the sky.

_Fuck… fuck… fuck… _I thought to myself.. Avoiding him had worked out so good. In fact I thought he didn't even show up, like he always did.

I stood there for a minute unnoticed, I didn't know if I should just turn around now and leave the party are act cool and calm like nothing had ever happened.


	20. Still standing

Drake turned around and saw me standing there. I froze. I didn't know if I should say something or just ignore him.

"Carly I'm so sorry...."He started and for the first time in so long the was something in his voice, that sounded like....sincerity.

I couldn't think I just kept staring at him. "Please can we talk? Privately?" He sounded so small and broke then.

"Drake I...." I started and completely lost the connection between my brain and mouth. "...Sure," I finished.

I still don't know what happened to me. Something probably hit my head to hard. I walked up to him and slid down the wall till I set nest to him. Only inched of bare air between our bodies. I didn't mean to come this close but now it was to late to move away. I could feel the head of his body next to me.

"How was your....?Did you...?Where?" He didn't complete any of those questions, he just looked down, playing with a half empty bottle.

I turned my head to look at him, then looked at the bottle. "Drake why are you drinking again, didn't....." I stopped myself from getting into all this again. I had to remind myself that this was no longer my business.

"I am so sorry Cary! Words can't describe how I feel. I was a fool, a dick everything you want to call me you have permission to do so. I was a child, Carly. I couldn't even take care of myself.

I let you deal with everything because I was not able to. Every time something stressed I run away instead of facing it. I never thought about tomorrow just about today and I'm so sorry for that....."

I took a deep breath in and out. I didn't say anything. I couldn't. I continued to stare at his hands playing with the alcohol bottle. I wanted to say something about it but I couldn't.

He sight deeply. "Hi, I'm Drake Parker."

"Carly," I said playing along.

"Nice to meet you Cary." He took my hand and it felt like the first time we touched. It sent tingles down my spin.

I couldn't help it but smiled. I looked at him still looking down. He looked up at me, his bangs falling into his eyes but still I'm sure there was a sparkle in his eyes when he saw my smile. It was this sparkle that told me that he loved me and only me. It was the very same look in his eyes that he had when we first met, the same look he had when he saw me smiling after he told me we would go to see a movie but ended up eating borritos in Mexico.

"Me too." I took the bottle out of his hands and put it to the side then shifted closer to him, living no space between us.

The end.

**A/N Okay that is the end. I know it's shit but the be honest i just tried to bring this story to an end.....I was starting to go in circles so I thought just end it quick and painless....I hope I didn't disappoint you guys to much....Oh and sorry for the long wait....check my profile for explain....**


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